My Talk...

So yesterday I gave a talk in my single's ward! Scary, mostly because I don't really know many people yet, but it turned out well nonetheless. I know that most of you won't read this but I wanted to put this on here for my benefit. I actually wrote out my talk which I NEVER do. I just felt that there were some things I really needed to say that I wanted to have written. So here's my talk:

This time of year our thoughts are turned to those who have come before us. The pioneers. What a source of inspiration they have become to the members of this church! They are an example to us of faith, courage and endurance. Pres. Monson shared this thought, “Can we somehow muster the courage and that steadfastness of purpose which characterized the pioneers of a former generation? Can you and I, in actual fact, be pioneers today? A dictionary defines a pioneer as “one who goes before, showing others the way to follow.” Oh, how the world needs pioneers today!”

Today I want to share with you one way that we can become converted and become pioneers for future generations, through our hymns.

The song that reminds me most of the pioneers is “Come, Come, Ye Saints.” This hymn was written by William Clayton. In a talk by Elder David B. Haight, he explains that William was a convert to the church and traveled to Nauvoo from England to be near the prophet and the saints. Soon after Joseph Smith’s martyrdom he traveled with Brigham Young’s company to the Salt Lake Valley. After 3 long months of slow and discouraging travel, he wrote this song. “hoping it would encourage and give some renewed hope and faith to the Saints."

Read "Come, Come, Ye Saints" (pg. 30)

Can you imagine the tribulation these saints had to go through? Can you imagine walking day in and day out through treacherous weather and land? Can you imagine burying members of your family, as one buy one they leave this mortal life? Can you imagine giving up everything for the gospel of Jesus Christ?

How did they do this? How could they endure the endless abuse, struggle, and trials that came upon them as members of this church? The answer is simple…they believed. They believed in every word the prophet spoke to them, and they believed in the words they sang as they made their trek west. It gave them hope. This song has become an anthem in our church. And we can follow the truths found there in our own lives too.

Last week in Sunday School we were talking about becoming converted. Our teacher was relating a story about a time when she felt the converting power of the spirit. She talked about the song “I Am A Child of God” and how she came to realize the truthfulness of that song. We then started to joke about how from an early age we have been brainwashed with primary songs so that we definitely know that the church is true! Even though we were having some fun with that, there is definite truth in the primary songs and the hymns we sing every week.

We all go through trials. We all have questions. We all have a desire to grow closer to our Savior. How many times can you think of when a hymn has touched your heart, or brought the spirit into a room, or brought peace to your soul? Through these experiences we have grown closer to our Savior. We have become more converted.

The hymns create an atmosphere that invites the spirit, which leads us to conversion. How much different would sacrament meeting be without a sacrament hymn? What are the words in those hymns speaking to each of us? Are we internalizing the message and doctrine that ultimately will save each one of us and bring us back to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ? The power of the atonement is infinite and if we allow ourselves to listen to the spirit during those hymns, our testimonies and understanding of the Atonement will increase and we will feel of the love the Savior has for each one of us. I testify of that!

I want to share something personal with you in regards to a hymn that has brought me much comfort as I have struggled through trials and hard times in my life. “Where Can I Turn For Peace” has become a hymn that I turn to, to remind me that no matter what I am going through, no matter how much I’m aching, I can turn to the Lord. I know that He is there for me. (Read lyrics if time permits)
I know that as this hymn says “He answers privately, reaches my reaching.” He is my Friend, my Savior. He succors me and brings peace to my heart. He is always there for me and he understands. He is constant and loves without end.

Last year around this time, I wrote something in regards to the pioneers that I would like to share with you.

Coming to a Realization...
Over the last few days there has been a certain focus on the pioneers and the ones who have gone before us. As I watched the commemoration that the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square put on, I was filled with a different spirit than I have ever felt before. I had a sense of reality settle upon me as I contemplated the sacrifice, faith, drive, and complete obedience to will of the Lord that these early saints had. What an incredible legacy we, as the restored church of Jesus Christ, have. I really had to stop and think about what I would be willing to sacrifice at this moment to be able to have the gospel as a central part of my life. What am I willing to do to show the Lord my love and devotion to Him and His work? Would I give up everything I have? Would I be willing to possibly have to sacrifice the lives of my family in order to attain the goal? Is my testimony built on a solid foundation, one that will not falter under constant criticism and taunting. Would I hold true "if the very jaws of hell [should] gape open the mouth wide after [me]?" How much faith would it take to put my life completely in the hands of the Lord? It is a truly remarkable task to even fathom the amount of faith those early pioneers had in the Lord and in their beloved prophet.
Today in Sacrament Meeting as I listened to a special number, "Those Who Came Before," I had a sort of epiphany. Though it may seem of small consequence to some, the understanding brought me much needed peace and a brighter understanding of my mission here in this life. I am going to be one of "those who came before" someday and I will be leaving a legacy. What am I going to leave behind for my posterity and those that I love? Will I be an example of faith? Will I be looked to as an example of "standing as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9)? So, my epiphany was that I am here on a mission. I am meant to be an example and a light to my posterity and to strive to accomplish all those things that the Lord would have me do. I want my children to have someone to look to. I want them to understand the incredible importance of gaining a testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ and His servants, the prophets. I am making a commitment at this moment that I will hearken to the counsel that I have been given through our prophets and other church leaders. The stirring that I have felt today could be completely described by the scripture in 2 Nephi 25:26:
"And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy
of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know
to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."
We are a part of an amazing work and legacy of faith. What are we striving to accomplish and conquer in our lives to show our gratitude and love for the Lord and this glorious gospel? Is it worth anything? Or is it worth everything?

Bare Testimony

That's it! There it is. Take it or leave it, but I felt really good about it. It really pulled together for me and I actually enjoyed doing it!

Life Changing Experiences

Holy Cow! I was thinking today about how much I miss writing! I haven't really had an opportunity to do it since school started last semester! I forgot how much I love it! This last school year has been incredible! My life has been changed and gone on a completely different course than I had originally planned. The last time I wrote, my plans were to go back to Thatcher and start school again at Eastern Arizona College. I had a scholarship, I had a place to live, I had a job, I had everything ready for me. But right after Josh left on his mission I had the strong impression that I needed to stay in Gilbert with my family and go to school. Talk about a last minute, crazy change in plans! It was a bit scary to do, but I knew that the Lord was guiding me where I needed to be and it was all going to be ok.

The week before school started I figured out my schedule and I tried out for the A Capella Choir. At the same time as my audition for the choir, I was offered a scholarship. WOW! Talk about a blessing! I was sooo grateful! The week that school started I decided that I was going to also try out for the Vocal Jazz Choir. I was incredibly nervous! Singing in a jazz group has been something I've always wanted to do. I tried out and made it! (Now of course I won't mention how many people actually tried out for it, otherwise it might be anti-climactic, but it was exciting nonetheless!) So now I was a part of two AMAZING choirs which I absolutely loved! And the people I associated with in these groups and my music classes were proving to be incredible people that I absolutely love to be around!

School has been absolutely incredible!! I have come to understand what I am truly passionate about I am going for it! No stopping me! I LOVE my music classes! My music theory and aural perception classmates can't figure out why I like counterpoint and 7th chords and phrasing and composing so much, but let me tell ya, I love it! My instructors are wonderful! The thing I love most about them is that they are all so passionate about what they do. They all have their niche and they do so well at helping us understand and apply the things we're learning in class. They are all incredibly talented! It is such a joy to be taught by them.

When I felt that I needed to go to Chandler Gilbert Community College (CGCC) I didn't really understand the reasons why. It wasn't making much sense to me. But I knew I needed to follow the spirit. As the semester went on I began to realize my purpose in being here at this time. At the end of August, my grandpa was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was a huge blow to me. My grandpa was my buddy! One of my dearest friends in the whole world. He had given me a love for music, he had encouraged me in every aspect of my life, and he was an example to me of true Christ-like living. I could never ask for a better example! As he progressively got worse and worse, I was given the opportunity to serve my grandpa. WOW! What a life changing experience! Here was a man whom I absolutely adored, who gave of himself constantly and was always serving and thinking of others. Now I had the opportunity to serve him. I will never forget the experiences I had the last month and a half before my grandpa died. They are precious and sweet, and I know that he was part of the reason I was to be here in Gilbert with my family. The thing I wanted more than anything else in the world was for him to go to my choir concert where I would be performing with the jazz choir for the first time. He was the one that got me into jazz and we shared that love. When I had told him about making it into this group he was sooo excited for me. I wanted to share that with him before he died. He was able to be at my concert. I will never forget my excitement as I waited to perform with the jazz group. This performance was for him! I was going to give it my all and this performance was going to be amazing! I felt so good after performing that concert. As I walked out into the audience to see my family I went straight to my grandpa and I hugged him and asked him what he thought. He told me how "good" it was. It meant the world to me. He then shared a tender moment with me me and told me how wonderful he thought I was. He started to cry and at that moment I knew that I wasn't going to get to do this again. This was it, and I was completely overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity I had to have him there with me. My grandpa passed away one week after that concert. I am so grateful for the experience I had to be with him through the last few weeks of his life and for the relationship that I had cultivated with him, for his incredible journey through life that will forever be a light to me.

Another thing that that I have been blessed with here is amazing friends! I have always had good friends, but coming here has been incredible! The people that I am around every day just make me happy! I love being around them! I have grown in many different ways through those I have come to associate with and care about.

When I decided to stay in Gilbert I was called to be the Laurel Advisor in my ward. I was completely overwhelmed with gratitude for the awesome responsibility of being these girls' leader. I was 20 years old, and I felt like I had just graduated myself and was still in the same stage of life as these girls. What could I offer? As I have spent time with these girls, served them, and taught them, I have grown an incredible love for each one of them. They each have something incredible to offer. We have the greatest time with each other! Some of the funnest times are when they want to have "girl talk" and they ask me to tell dating stories or they want to know the latest in my love life. Ha Ha! Oh goodness! We have definitely had some great times! Lots of laughter, but also some of the most amazing spiritual experiences that have helped our testimonies grow and brought us closer together. I think that more than anything this calling has helped me (as every calling usually does) to prepare myself for my future family. I have strong convictions about how I want my family to be raised and my testimony has been strenghtened as to my capacity to accomplish these things. It has been an amazing and humbling experience to be in this calling.

The Lord puts us where we are for a reason. He loves us and He is indeed mindful of us. I have always known that, but through the experiences I have had this last school year, I have become increasingly aware of just how close the Savior can be. He is my dearest and best friend! I am so grateful for the love and care He has taken for me. I have felt of the love our Savior has for each one of us. It's incredible and I am so grateful for the opportunities and experiences I have had to make me who I am today.

The Growth From Trials

Wow! Talk about things hitting all at once. I'm sure everyone knows what that feels like! Things are going better than you could have possibly hoped and then....BAM! Kinda knocks your socks off! Well anyway, even though I am in the midst of some really trying times right now, I can see the end and I know that everything is going to work out just the way it's supposed to.

Having that knowledge, that everything is going to work out, is comforting, but at the same time it doesn't take away the hurt and longing that comes while dealing with these trials. I think that the fear of the unknown is what gets me. I hope things will turn out a certain way, but I really don't know what to expect. That's where faith comes in. Have I fully turned this over to the Lord? Am I trying to fix this myself, or am I casting the burden onto someone else, my Savior, who is much stronger than I could possibly fathom? As I have really taken this to heart, I have been at peace. Yes, things still hurt, and emotions run high at times, but I do know that everything is going to turn out fine. There is so much beauty in the peace that the Spirit can bring into your life once you embrace it! What a sweet and unsurpassed gift! It is truly incredible that through the spirit we can feel our Savior's love so fully and completely. He is there for us, and we just have to let him in. Once we have let go of all of our hurt and yearning, and passed it on, there is going to come into our lives a greater meaning and purpose. I know this to be true, and I feel the gentle urging of the spirit guiding me in a way that I need to go to make myself more fully able to reach my greatest potential.