Alright, so I guess this may happen to every single person at some point or another but today it's happening to me. And may I add a disclaimer to this post: I don't think it attractive at all when people complain about being single, nor am I trying and get sympathy from anyone, I'm just sharing some thoughts that I am having at the moment. Alright now that that's out of the way (oh and this may be a little bit of a different side of the Brittney you know and love, but that's just because I have to get some stuff out too right?!)....
So just recently my brother started dating a really great girl! An amazing girl! I love her to pieces and have known her for a very long time. So the fact that my brother is dating this girl is not a problem, but to be completely honest it has been harder to deal with for my own emotion's sake than I thought it would be. I am so incredibly happy for the both of them to be dating, but I, especially as an older sister, am having a difficult time dealing with the whole "you're dating someone and I'm definitely-not-anywhere-close-to-dating-someone"...thing. Mind you, I'm happy! I really truly am! I'm working on things and reaching goals that are helping me become a better person, and I am truly grateful for that. So this is not the issue
I want a BEST friend. I have friends that I could give this definition to, boys and girls alike...but I haven't had the "best friend" relationship you get to experience when you date someone, in a really long time, and I need that sometimes. Just the sheer fact that you know someone will be there for you when you're excited, when you want to share something silly, and they'll laugh just because they know you so well. To talk about life, dreams, goals, to support one another, and to be the sparkle in their eyes. Those are priceless moments.
Someday it will happen. I know that. And it's ok that it's not right now. There is obviously more for me to do until then and I'm content with that. But I gotta tell ya, watching people that are close to you in relationships, when that's what you want too, is not easy! I have to say that I'm grateful for the gospel! It definitely gives you purpose and feelings of worth and fortification! We can do anything with the Lord and I'm grateful for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, and where I fit in with all this amazingness He has created and planned for each of us!
Life really is good! Just had to vent! Hope no one finds offense, none was meant! :) I love you all! :) Keep smilin and "dreamin the dream"! I know I will! :)
4 comments:
So well stated, Brittney! So many people have those feelings, and the key to handling them is your attitude and perspective - and your attitude and perspective sounds like it is just perfect.
As a side-note, last night Josh and I were in the E.R. with his mom (long story) so he was passing the time looking at facebook on his iPhone. He came across a comment from you and saw your little profile picture and he said, "Who's Brittney Chapman? She's cute!"
For a venting post, Brittney, I personally thought it was quite tame. Don't worry, though, there is nothing wrong with that =)
And there is nothing wrong with venting every once in a while. It's important to get things like that out and speak what is on your mind. We always try to put on a perfect face for others, when sometimes it really is alright to give honest expression of our feelings... (a time and place for everything, but nobody is perfect and on cloud-nine all the time).
Way to be optimistic in the end!
Brittney my dear Brittney. I love you SO much!!! I hope you believe me when I tell you that I completly and totally understand. There is a scripture that has given me hope and it still does to this day...Ecclesiates Chapter 3. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." YOu are the most amazing girl I know!! And I'm not just saying that. It's completly true. Thank you so much for your support...it really means a lot to me!! I love you girlie!!
Venting is good. Here's my straight from the heart comment... ok, brace yourself...
Go for it, girl and don't settle for less!!!! Do you know how many marriages were established without the best friend element?!?! Many a girl has believed it would come with time (snowed by Fiddler on the Roof), but it's rare.
So maybe what you long for isn't all about being single as much as being single and selective. Worth the wait, you can have it too. =)
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